Perks of my Mailing List

Download a free e-book of Six Sexy Secret Shorts, an anthology of erotic stories.  Whether it’s a sultry alter-ego, a clandestine public encounter, a taboo kink or a private rebellion against cultural norms, secrets about sex are all around us, flowing just under the surface of otherwise homogenized existences. This collection of shorts is a snapshot of six such secrets. You will read diverse stories of people with something to hide and more to give. Secrets: everyone has them. Enjoy peeking through the curtain.

Download your copy via PC or Mac.

                        

See it on Goodreads

  

Below find the first 19 pages from my M/M/F novella 

By Surprise.

_____________________________________________________________________________

By Surprise Alyssa Turner

Copyright 2012 / 2020

Paxton had this really sexy habit of narrowing his eyes into a smoky squint when he wasn’t exactly telling the whole story. Nicholas never minded Paxton’s elusive answers. The truth would come out one way or another. Nicholas had his ways. “So you’re telling me that you never get the urge to be with a woman anymore.”

Nicholas pressed the subject over their lazy Sunday breakfast. He’d prepared Belgian waffles and Canadian bacon for him especially because they were his favorite.

“Why do you insist on trying to find a loophole? I married you. I’m completely in love with you.”

Paxton looked at his long-time lover, now legal spouse of two years. Nicholas couldn’t help but smile back into those slivered chestnut irises.

“Not a loophole, just the honest truth.” He poured Paxton some juice. “I started cleaning out the shed yesterday, and I found some old pictures of you and Marcy.”

“That was a long time ago.” Paxton sliced into his stack of waffles. “What got you in the mood to clean out that clutter dump all by yourself?”

“I want to turn it into a greenhouse. But, don’t change the subject.” Nicholas did his best to sound playful. “You dated Marcy for a long time. I know you loved her. I don’t believe your attraction to women has just evaporated completely.” He wanted to understand, needed to know if the not-so-old cheerleader gang-bang DVDs he’d found in a different box were something he should be concerned about.

Paxton licked his lips in a thoughtful pause. “What are you getting at, Nicky?”

Nicky. Only Paxton called him that, and it wasn’t a secret that Nicholas melted a little every time. Paxton had his own ways as well, it seemed. Nicholas cleared his throat and pressed forward with the issue at hand. “Your birthday is coming up next month.”

Paxton looked confused now. “OK, how does that tie in with this crazy conversation?”

“I want us to have a threesome, with a woman.” The words popped like a cork, surprising both of them. Nicholas had meant it to sound more suave, more seductive. But that was Paxton’s specialty, not his. Paxton froze mid slice into his second bite of waffles.

“What?”

“I know you heard what I said.”

“Uh…this is sudden.”

“I love you, Paxton, and I want you to have this.”

He leaned over and put his hand in Paxton’s lap, rubbing his cock.

“It’s just sex, right? Why should you have to hide a part of yourself away? I love all of you.”

Paxton put down his knife and fork and placed his hand on top of Nicholas’s as it sought the outline of his suddenly swelling shaft. “You really mean that?”

Nicholas smiled. He did mean it. Paxton had accepted him and loved him entirely for six years. To know there was something Paxton needed that he kept hidden from him was like a punch to the gut. He thought they shared everything; thought there needn’t be any secrets. The minute he found that box of porn hidden away under the pesticides, he wasn’t mad at Paxton. He was mad at himself for not being the kind of lover that Paxton could trust with his deepest desires. Pure openness—that was the kind of relationship he wanted. “I’m not as delicate as you like to think, Paxton,” he said. “Besides, we’ve had a threesome before. Remember how hot that was?”

“Yeah, but it was with that sexy waiter we picked up in Cabos on vacation.” Nicholas leaned in. “This is going to be even better.”

“Do you have someone in mind?” Paxton asked and started slicing into his waffles again, the tension in his face replaced by an easy grin.

“Not yet, but now that I know you’re on board, I’ll be on the search for just the right playmate.”

Nicholas started eating, too, laughing between bites. “I mean, just in case I was wrong I didn’t want to spring some big-chested bimbo on you, all out of the blue.”

Paxton’s voice was suddenly serious. “You’re never wrong about me, Nicky.”

“I know, babe.” Nicholas said, brushing the back of his fingers against Paxton’s morning stubble. “I know.”

* * *

Monday’s headlines should have been a clue. Vermont’s budget was underwater and social services were always the first to be cut. Still, Nicholas went to work that morning like any other day.

“It’s a lock out. All nonunion workers are laid off until further notice,” Mona, his cubicle neighbor said between sobs. They stood in the parking lot with about fifty other dazed and confused government employees who worked as social workers for the state. Nicholas was only three months away from becoming union eligible. Last hired, first to be let go—that was the way of the world. He comforted her as best he could, telling her it would be OK, that with her education, she’d find something soon. But who was going to comfort him? Truth was, the dream house he and Paxton rented was already a stretch on two incomes. Suddenly they were down to just Paxton’s third-grade detective’s salary and that wouldn’t cut it alone. Not only was Nicholas out of a job, they’d have to move.

“Come home and I’ll give you a reason to stop worrying so much,” Paxton said on the other end of Nicholas’s cell phone after listening to him rant about his rotten luck. “I don’t have to go into the station until 1:00 today.” Nothing ever seemed to faze Paxton, the eternal optimist.

“Where else am I going?” Nicholas said, raking his fingers through his dark Greek curls. Years earlier he’d done some modeling during his grad school years in New York, before he met Paxton. He was still in excellent shape, but at thirty and living where trees outnumbered people by a thousand to one, the likelihood of a comeback was pretty slim. He sighed. There weren’t any easy fixes. For now, he’d let the man he loved erase the stress from his body for a few hours.

Paxton was waiting for him, just as promised, in bed. The floorboards creaked under his feet as Nicholas crossed the room. It was an old Victorian, complete with intricate gingerbread details and a turret. Nicholas had fallen in love with it from the moment he saw the for rent sign on the lawn while jogging through the neighborhood. Paxton had told him to put down a deposit the minute he returned to their apartment. He hadn’t wanted to see it; the only thing he was concerned about was that Nicholas was happy. It was big, far more spacious than they needed. But Nicholas had been charmed by its ten-foot ceilings and arched windows. There was no talking him out of it, and Paxton hadn’t even tried.

“Poor Nicky, come here,” Paxton said sitting up and pushing the sheet away from his semierect cock.

“Don’t tease me.” Nicholas peeled away his necktie and got to work on his shirt buttons. “This is the worst day ever.”

“But teasing you is just so fun.” Paxton smiled and started stroking his growing shaft with lube. They balanced each other; Nicholas knew this well. He’d only pretended to be annoyed by Paxton’s jibes. In reality, Nicholas could feel the current of support threaded in his playful words. When it came to sex, they were even more in sync. All Nicholas wanted was to be in his arms, to be riding his cock while Paxton kissed him hard on the mouth. He normally favored the way Paxton liked to bend him over the footboard of their sleigh bed. But today was a day to be held close, while he impaled himself on his man and smashed him with kisses. Today was a day to be grateful that he was loved.

The very first time they hooked up, Nicholas dubbed him the prophet, amazed by how Paxton knew what would get him off before Nicholas even realized what was happening. Now their lovemaking was well choreographed. Paxton wrapped his fingers around Nicholas’s cock and swallowed it in his fist, skipping every other stroke as Nicholas bounced in his lap. He sucked on Nicholas’s tongue and bit his lip, murmuring how much he loved him.

Nicholas lost sight of the bad news he’d received only an hour ago. The day looked better in Paxton’s arms, and so did the future. He’d get another job, do what he needed to get by. They’d be OK as long as they had each other.

“You’re mine forever, Nicky,” Paxton whispered as Nicholas spilled hot, pearly ropes into the air.

Nicholas managed to gather himself enough to speak, panting with exertion. “If I loved you anymore, I’d fucking burst.”

Paxton growled with a surly grin, “You already did.” He grabbed Nicholas and tossed him onto his knees. “My turn.”

Fuck, I love when he does that, Nicholas marveled. Paxton knew when to be sweet and when to be funny, not to mention his impeccable timing for when to get just rough enough to make him surge. Nicholas did love him until he burst; he’d never tire of that light-headed feeling as long as he lived.

* * *

By Tuesday, the worry had returned. By Thursday, Nicholas wondered if he should make an appointment with his shrink to score a new prescription. “Go if you want, but I think you’re selling yourself short,” Paxton told him, swiping his keys from the table to leave for work. He pulled the day shift that day, and Nicholas was still padding around the kitchen in his underwear.

“Easy for you to say. I hate feeling like this,” Nicholas whined. “Like a wet fucking puppy.”

“A wet puppy? You’re not that pathetic.” He shrugged. “Actually that sounds kind of cute.”

Nicholas frowned. “Eat me.” Paxton laughed.

“Listen, let’s cook a special dinner tonight.” He eased his hand onto Nicholas’s neck, massaging him in small circles. “Pick out one of those complicated, highfalutin recipes you like to impress me with. We’ll do it together; it’ll cheer you up.”

“That sounds good.” Nicholas relented under the magic of Paxton’s touch. The prophet.

When Paxton had gone, Nicholas looked for something to help him pass the hours until he returned. There were the career sites, but fishing for work in front of a computer screen didn’t do much for his mood. By twelve, he’d had all he could take. Red-breasted robins still loitered in the backyard, though fall’s chill was unmistakable in the air. They called him outside, imploring him to get his hands dirty in the garden. He’d miss that most of all—the garden he’d resuscitated from years of neglect. Backbreaking work that he did with pleasure. Nicholas stood at the backdoor and surveyed the hedged lot. The colors were fading. Perennials had their chance in the spotlight and were taking their final bow in the late September sun. He grabbed his work gloves from the windowsill and headed out. It was already four when Paxton called the house to check in on him.

“Tell me what we’re making.”

“I’ve been out back all afternoon. I didn’t make any plans.”

“Well, I’m starving. Skipped lunch on purpose.” He paused. “You still want to cook tonight?”

“Yeah, yeah.” Despite his lack of enthusiasm, Nicholas hated letting Paxton down. “We’ll make that Indian dish my boss cooked at her dinner party last month. She gave me the recipe.” He scoured the bulletin board next to the fridge. “Can you stop at that gourmet market downtown and pick up a few things on the way home?”

“Sure. Just text me the list.”

“Thanks, Paxton.”

“Whatever you need, Nicky.”

* * *

The Elm Street Market was one of those new fancy grocery stores that tried its best to look like it sprung out of a 1955 farming town, only the prices seemed more like 2055, and the range of cultural ingredients seduced every wannabe gourmet chef from fifty miles around. Shift manager wasn’t exactly a career move, but it paid decent enough, and the customers were mostly pleasant on the rare occasion Jodi Tate had to cover one of the checkouts. Like today.

Though she saw him before he saw her, she was still frozen in place. Paxton Tremont. What the hell would she say to him?

“Jodi? Wow, what a blast from the past.” He held out his arms. “You better come here and give me a hug, girl.”

Stretching over the counter, Jodi found her voice from within his awkward embrace. “Hi Paxton, good to see you.” No way could she have sounded any lamer if she tried.

“How long have you been back in Burlington?”

“Few months.”

“And I was bitching about having to come all the way across town for some fenugreek.” His grin was infectious.

“Things happen for a reason.”

A slow shake of his shaved head and his expression mellowed. “You haven’t changed a bit.”

“Paxton, it’s been ten years since I moved overseas. I’ve changed some.”

“Has it been ten years? Damn.” He chuckled. “You broke my heart, you know.”

Jodi got chills when he said that, the way she reacted to too much ice cream. “Stop pulling my chain, Paxton.”

“Really, Jodi. You were my best friend and what’d you do? You ran off to Germany with the first guy to sweep you off your feet.” He put his basket on the counter between them. “How is soldier boy Dan? You two have any kids yet?”

Jodi started unloading his basket, averting her eyes. “The divorce was final last week.”

“Oh, Jodi. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. I’m not.” She tried to smile. “How about you? You married?”

“I am.”

“To Marcy?”

“No.” His expression shifted, and she thought she’d pried too much. “I’m gay. I married a great guy. His name is Nicholas.”

“Oh.” She wasn’t surprised exactly. Paxton was right; they’d been best friends once—told each other absolutely everything since they were twelve. She knew he’d experimented with Johnny Doyle at the camp where they all worked the summer after graduation. She’d heard all the details the next day about the amazing blowjob Johnny gave him.

By Surprise